How can you love me?

How can you love me?

Why God? Why?

Why Father?

Tell me

I don't understand

How can you love me?

After I have sinned

Still, you care

I feel undeserving

I have felt so alone

My thoughts filled with despair

Yet still, you attempt to reach me

You show me, love

I show you my back

I have struggled to turn away

From the one personage

Who could help me most

I have hurt you so much

I care for you

Yet I am angry

It is my frustration

That keeps us apart

Deep down I know

It is not your fault

You promised me

But the promise

Was not fulfilled

I blamed you

I was wrong

I felt our trust was broken

But the real blame

Must rest on my shoulders

Mine and those who exercised

Their free agency

For that is our greatest gift

Yet it is also the one thing

Which neither one of us can control

I can control my own

But no others

For if I could

Then Satan would win

For this was his greatest endeavor

My exasperation is not in you

But in those who have hurt me

Yet in my anger and confusion

I have taken this out on you

Why God? Why?

Why Father?

Tell me

I don't understand

How can you love me?

You are my Father

I am your child

C. Lin Rawlins 1998©