Tuesday, November 20, 2012

How can you love me?


How can you love me?

Why God? Why?
Why Father?
Tell me
I don't understand
How can you love me?
After I have sinned
Still you care
I feel undeserving
I have felt so alone
My thoughts filled with despair
Yet still you attempt to reach me
You show me love
I show you my back
I have struggled to turn away
From the one personage
Who could help me most
I have hurt you so much
I care for you
Yet I am angry
It is my frustration
That keeps us apart
Deep down I know
It is not your fault
You promised me
But the promise
Was not fulfilled
I blamed you
I was wrong
I felt our trust was broken
But the real blame
Must rest on my shoulders
Mine and those who exercised
Their free agency
For that is our greatest gift
Yet it is also the one thing
Which neither one of us can control

I can control my own
But no others
For if I could
The Satan would win
For this was his greatest endeavor
My exasperation is not in you
But in those who have hurt me
Yet in my anger and confusion
I have taken this out on you
Why God? Why?
Why Father?
Tell me
I don't understand
How can you love me?

You are my Father
I am your child

Carrie Lin R Jones 1998©

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