Torture

Torture

I seem to always do this

I linger

I hope

Sometimes I even pray

Someday

Some way

That you will care for me

That we

That us

Matters not just to me

Matters to you

Matters to us

Why do I torture myself?

Why my heart?

Why you?

Treat me like I don't exist

Treat me as nothing

Treat me like I can't you

Because you will always exist in my world

Because I can't forget you

Because I love you

Damn my heart cringes

Damn I wish I could silence its steady beat

Damn you every time for torturing me like this

Don't I deserve acknowledgment?

Don't I deserve respect?

Don't I deserve kindness?

I am a person

I am a woman

I care for you

For my greatest sin

For my greatest treasure

For what have I done but love you?

C. Lin Rawlins January 27 1998©